A few years ago, I found myself sitting on a colourful, comfy rug beside the ocean, surrounded by other women. We were there for the first session of a group called ‘Seaside Writers’, and we were being encouraged to write for fun, for business, for blogs… and to unleash ‘the inner you’. At the time, I didn’t really know why I felt drawn to the group – I talk more about this on page 123 of my book (yes, I wrote a book!) called Real Women, Real Stories.
Right now, I’m sitting beside the ocean again, but this time on my own. I’m here in the shade with a cool breeze tickling my skin, and I’m listening to the ocean waves. Why am I here? Well, I have more writing to do – this time, it’s for this very website! I need to share words and stories that describe who I am, what I’m about, what my business is about and how I can serve you… and sometimes it’s not easy to articulate something so personal. (This is why I have engaged the services of a content writer and editor – I know when to call in support.)
When I started writing today, for some reason I felt overwhelmed with EMOTION. Woo-wah! Where on earth did that emotion come from and what was it about? After I pondered it for a while, I realised that I sometimes feel alone – but I wouldn’t say I feel lonely or that I’m a loner. For me, feeling ‘alone’ happens when I realise that other people don’t share my vision. Or it can just be that I feel ‘different’ from other people.
I can feel alone in…
- my business
- my family
- my relationships
- my network
- a crowded room
And I don’t think I’m alone (pardon the pun) in feeling that way sometimes, and it’s true that we certainly don’t set out to feel alone.
It’s funny – until this very moment, I hadn’t ever realised that this underlying feeling is often present in my life, lurking in the shadows. I must say, though, that since putting pen to paper just a few moments ago, the feeling of alone-ness has now lost its hold over me (even though I know it’s still in the shadows!).
Can you resonate with this? When you think about your life, do you also have a feeling of being ‘alone’, but not lonely? When I reflect on my conversations with many, many women in the community I’ve created, I realise that it is actually very common. I’ve also come to see that this is just one of the fears that women experience.
Sometimes we can’t understand why and where our triggers come from. For example, I don’t know why feelings of being alone rose up when I sat down to write for my website. Interesting, huh? Have you ever noticed that certain situations bring up certain fears? Perhaps it’s happened recently for you? I’ve found that when you stop, recognise and acknowledge what might be going on under the surface – much as I did with my feelings of alone-ness – you can start to move forward!
Added to this, it can be scary to admit our fears to others. I know that people reading this blog post may judge and say, ‘I don’t understand why Jennifer would feel alone.’ As they read, they may even scoff and say, ‘Get a grip! It’s just in your imagination. You have a choice not to feel that way, you know!’ Ah, you’ve gotta love the judgement of others. Unfortunately, oftentimes we are reluctant to share our fears because we worry about the opinions of others. The solution? Only share your fears with people you trust. As a bonus, when you do this you might just feel differently about your fears because you’ve had a meaningful interaction and feel heard.
So, beautiful woman, is this your time? Will you choose to face and unveil those emotions that are lurking in the darkness? Will you face the shadows that are binding you to negativity and holding you back? (Maybe you can do this by writing – this is how my ‘alone-ness’ feeling was revealed to me.) I urge you to take off the mask and speak the truth to YOURSELF. When you do this, you will take back your power and begin to live again – or perhaps you’ll feel truly alive for the very first time.